A Black & White Movie

okay, so now, in a polytechnic, i must say that i am thankful to my french teacher, because she teaches well, at the basic level, so that i will be able acquire some knowledge in the language? and possibly prove that it is possible to learn a language with very little exposure. btw, there is a guy with big muscles in the school now for a talk......a graduate of the polytechnic....and he is extremely successful!!!!blah blah blah~culture culture
okay, back to the topic at hand.....i must be going crazy-making rude jokes like:''my mum is like a broken-recorder, as she keeps saying the same stuff non-stop....''
haha.....
and one reason why i prefer polytechnic education, because there is more work-life balance!!!!!and i went to the freshman party.....it was like a disco!!!now, i am like a broken mp3 haha.
so basically,i got to know some guys from the party, and i went home with one guy in a taxi....and i went out with another guy....and during the freshman orientation, there were loads of nice people....maybe, just being polite or something.....but i seriously liked some guys there....not that they would actually like me....
so, now, back to the main topic.....
haha, i'm commitment-phobic....and i don't feel like getting married someday.....the freshman party just reflected that.......no freedom, being tied down....
if you were a tree-hugger, would you be with one tree for life?
so whatever....
actually, my parents don't approve of the guy that i keep talking about...the one whom i saw at my ex-workplace, the swimming pool, my void deck.....
but seriously, i am fucking angry with this whole thing...because he does not even seem to be trying. people who fail their exams, would try one more time. or seek alternative paths. not just stay at the same educational level. and heck, i think he could go on to tertiary education, but due to some reasons, which i shall not say.....he's staying there.....and is he doing anything about it?
but love transcends all boundaries.....i'm too random......
also, i don't like the myth that poly people are not stressed. i would be stressed, if i were in ite, because i want to fly higher and higher. and what's more, if i earn A LOT OF MONEY IN FUTURE, I WOULD GLADLY TREAT PEOPLE TO VERY LAVISH MEALS...but would people do the same IF THEY EARNED MUCH MORE THAN ME?
AND I AM VERY HAPPY TO GIVE TREATS....AND I DON'T EXPECT ANYTHING FROM THEM....BUT I WANT TO KNOW THAT THEY ARE NOT SO SELFISH....and i gladly treat people on occasion to meals, but there's a LIMIT.
i am really happy to help with community service work....and really willing to treat people to meals.....but people must understand my financial limit, as well as my financial ability. there are a lot of times when i am short on cash.....
ONE STUPID REASON WHY I FEEL STRESSED, IS BECAUSE I WANT TO FLY HIGHER.
AND THE REASON WHY I WANNA FLY HIGHER, BECAUSE YOU MAY NEVER KNOW, THERE ARE SOME PEOPLE WHO MAY ACTUALLY HAVE MORE MONEY THAN U ONE DAY, BUT IF YOU END UP EARNING LESS, THEY MAY WANT U TO TREAT THEM AGAIN.
and i don't get to pay concession fares, unlike people in JCs and ITEs. understand that. don't keep assuming. thus, I HAVE TO PAY A LOT MORE FOR TRANSPORT. NOT THAT I COMPLAIN. BUT YOU HAVE TO UNDERSTAND MY FINANCIAL POSITION.and where i am coming from.....and understand why i seem like a selfish bitch.
but back to that boy.....i know a lot of people who i went out with are not serious with relationships...
so, i am not serious in r/s too.....
BUT THERE ARE TWO POSSIBILITIES:
(1) IF YOU ARE A PLAYER, I WILL PLAY ALONG WITH U.
(2)IF YOU ARE NOT A PLAYER, I WILL MAKE MY STAND CLEAR, HOPEFULLY, YOU WON'T GET HURT.
but bitch please, some people who are not even fit to be players, do not even have what it takes to be a player, chose to be players.
there is someone who went out with his gf, break off, went out with me...in secondary school.and the cycle continues. can u blame me? i was your stupid spare tyre, but now i am not anymore.....
and the mistake with that boy, is that, he was not serious, i could tell, so i played along.....then, i think somehow, he became serious....and got hurt as a result....
except that, girls will always tend to lose out....so no more friends-with-benefits. wouldn't like to become a mum at 17. neither would you....
haha, he will probably truly move on this time....
but no offence to anyone.
and also, i was just thinking.....if i end up with him....commitment for a lifetime..not being perverted....but just this one....not thinking about other guys in this way....just friends
haha....(dirty comment coming your way....)
........i would get a big, juicy eel for dinner........
.........and it would be too big for my mouth........
.and i would have nothing to give him...............cannot stop this....too stressed with life already....poly life is fine, if the cut-off point is much worse than my score......but not when you're just borderline.....and its so damn difficult when you have no prior experience....just try to do well in the tutorials, assignments ,projects and tests. all the time. not last-minute work. and you will be exhausted in one semester. nobody understands....
......i shall end here, with:''if you have a caring boyfriend who loves you so much, hold on to him really tightly and never let him go...you must be very lucky, like the luckiest person in the world....because that special someone would always be there for you... don't let him slip away....''

Stuck here at10:46 PM