my parents watched a show about matchmaking couples....my mum said,``don`t go for skinny guys...`` and said:``that guy is very muscular right?``pui. i don`t think they are impressive at all. too old for me....and stuff....
anyway, i digress. some forumers(?) have been talking on forums about the mental block. the mental block comprises of negative thoughts which surface in your head and stay stuck there and prevent you from doing well. ie. wanna drop out of jc/poly....considering options.....
and when you entertain these thoughts, u can`t do well....
i had mental blocks when i was in sec 3-4....which is a lot more than one mental block.....one for chinese, because i was thinking that i had enough with that subject. and my grades dipped. so, i couldn`t be A1, i ended up as A2. or i am probably just bad at chinese,thats why.....
when i took social studies, i thought that i didn`t want to go to a jc, didn`t study for that subject, didn`t like that subject at all....so, i had a mental block. a tuition teacher came in and resolved the issue. he is very good at teaching, at the same time, i also had removed the mental block, maybe because i had no choice, or he discreetly removed it.
why life is not like that? in sec 1, all i wanted is to go on to sec 2. and from sec 2, i wanted to go on to sec 3. but from sec 3 and 4, i started entertaining mental blocks, plus my stupidity, and i wanted to go overseas, didn`t want to study in singapore, wondered what am i fighting for......?
because, when i got to sec 3, i wanted to become a computer hacker, or a pole-dancer, or a job which has negative connotations. yet, it had to be legal. either ethical hacking or professional pole dancing would be ideal. and i would receive loads of flak for it....
or a heavy-metal screamer.
BUT THE MORE NEGATIVE THE CONNOTATION, THE BETTER.
or a game programmer for VIOLENT VIDEO GAMES/FIRST-PERSON SHOOTERS.
and accountancy focuses too much on ethics......
heck, i needed a job with negative connotations, because i have such a strong passion for these kinds of jobs, and i wouldn`t want to do anything else. and of course, the release of emotions.
people don`t understand, unless they read 19 minutes by jodi picoult or they have been through what i have.
ostracised and taunted....in primary school, the teacher would scold me....
i would fight back at the bullies because the teachers never helped, although i told them.....and now u want me to become a teacher, momma? U KIDDING ME?DAFUG.
and now, the teacher says i`m coping well with french.
and i took it because of the negative thoughts and reasons.
and now i'm excelling because of that....but i don't know if i can continue excelling....
the message:
don't criticise those heavy-metal rockers. they are successful today.....and its because they wrote many songs like that....and people have been fucking bullied...and they can relate to them.....and for every hater, there is a fan. and are u any better, hating on them and their songs? no you are not.
and because of you, you made them wrote a song.
#1 in the music charts.
negative songs.....but very successful.fuck you, who are u to criticise them when you drove them to the edge. and you made them wrote these negative songs. now that they are number 1, you criticise them.
Are u optimistic?
Wierd?
Intuitive?
Anythin abt yourself.
- My Adores -
Chocolate?
Or maybe Vanilla?
Scented Candles?
Long walks at the beach perhaps?
- My Detests -
spoil brats perhaps?
or backstabbers?
maybe clowns?
why not cockroaches
- My Playlist -
Songs stuck in ur brain.
- The Conversations -